When I first got into recovery I wasn’t really sure of the difference between humility and humiliation.

What I learned is that being humble is one of the staples of maintaining substance use recovery, and to avoid the humiliation of the consequences of substance use, I need to be practicing humility.

Humility means being “right sized”. I am no better or worse than anybody else, I have value but no more than any other human being. I love myself and love others. I make mistakes, I do things well, I am often wrong, I am often right.

The difficult part about addiction is that it is a thinking disease. This means that I can’t necessarily trust my own brain. That is a difficult concept to digest.

If I can’t trust my own thoughts, then I need to be consistently seeking feedback from other people about what is going on in my head.

Not only that but I have to question my own thinking and make sure I am open minded to what other people are saying, especially those who care about me.

There are times that the absolute last thing I want to do is to listen to anybody else’s perspective, especially when I believe I am right. However, usually that need to be right is driven by some type of insecurity or fear.

What I see from working in the treatment field is that people love to hold on to their ideas and patterns, even when they are completely self destructive.

The reason that people hold on to these things is a combination of fear and fulfillment of some type of need, even when it is destroying another need.

An example of this is being in a toxic or even abusive relationship to fill the need of love and belonging/not being alone, even when it is jeopardizing one’s need for safety/security.

I was definitely no different at one point and still have to be very careful of not falling into this mindset.

Food for thought:

Is there some area of your life where you need to practice more humility? Are you “sticking to your guns” in some way that is actually in the long run hurting yourself or a loved one?